the illusion of control

It wasn't until recently that I discovered how freeing it is to actually let go of control rather than take control. In fact control is probably the main cause of anxiety for most human beings. Little did I know how decieved I had been for so long, thinking that I had control when in reality it's God who has all control.

About a month ago I was in bed trying to fall asleep. I sat awake thinking about the two things that needed to be done the next morning. I had to be somewhere at a certain time but I also wanted to bring a family member out for coffee around the same time. I was worrying about how I would coordinate the driving to get where I needed to be and still have time to bring my cousin out to coffee.

Maybe I will have him come with me and then we can get coffee afterwards. I'd save driving time and not have to worry about picking him up on time to grab the coffee. I thought to myself.

This worry went on for about an hour or two. It was me trying to take control and figure out my schedule the next morning so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Funny thing is, I WAS worrying about it anyways! I began to pray to God about my worry and I could sense Him telling me to just give it to Him. Why worry when things can change at the last second anyways? I knew I had to give my worry to God and after some wrestling with myself I gave it away and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to my cell phone ringing. It was a co-worker of mine needing me to go into work last minute because someone forgot to show up.

Ok God, I hear You. I couldn't help but smile.

I ended up not bringing my cousin out for coffee and not getting the place I had planned on going to that morning. I went to work instead.

I didn't have control, God did. I'll never have control, but God always does!

I thank the Lord for showing me this truth; I'd probably still be in complete bondage with anxiety if I didn't sit still long enough to hear the small, still whisper of God.

Control is an illusion

Trying to take control of my life is what caused so many problems and worry in life. I thought that if maybe I tried to do this differently, or used the right words in certain circumstances, or got perfect grades, then I could take control and feel less anxious. But control is decieving.

Don't be decieved

Eve was decieved in the Garden of Eden. She wanted to take control by gaining wisdom and having her eyes opened to what God was supposedly keeping from her. Eve was decieved. And so was I.

God is not keeping any good thing from His children and wants us to live a wonderful and prosperous life with Him. We see this truth played out in the life of Jesus Christ. He came to set us free! (John 8:32)

We all know what happened when Eve tried to take control after being decieved. She and Adam were cut off from God's presence and had to live in a sinful world full of hate, evil and hard times. That one action of eating fruit from the tree of good and evil caused so much harm. Wanting to be in control causes so much harm and so much hurt, that it took God sending His only Son Jesus, here on earth to set us free.

I still have to give the control back to God when I feel myself wanting to take it back. I'm getting better, but I know that God is still working with me in this area of my life.

We're decieved into thinking that we have any ounce of control to things happening in our life. We can't control whether or not the sun rises and sets, we don't control our friend/sister/mother/co-worker, and we can't worry about coordinating our future so much that it causes us to miss out on the great times that are in the present! It's all an illusion, and the sooner we accept this truth the sooner we'll enjoy life and allow God to fully work within ourselves!

I hope that when you find yourself trying to take control again, you'll stop, give it to God and allow yourself to be set free.

Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free. John 8:32

Give it all to God; you won't be disappointed!

May God bless you all!
Gretchen