Perfectionism, Law, Grace

I realized something profound yesterday as I came home from an exhausting midterm that left me frustrated. I studied so hard for this midterm, wrote out the essay's beforehand and even tried to memorize key points I would write about in each essay. But I still did not finish my midterm on time nor did I allow myself any wiggle room for creative thinking during the test. Needless to say I was sad, somewhat angry at myself and oh so frustrated with my answers!

I got home, kneeled down by my bed and tried not to let the tears of disappointment (failure even) flow down my cheeks. Yet they came anyways and so did the realization in prayer that I was a perfectionist. My broken ego wanted to scream that it was so unfair and I tried so hard and studied so long! But that still small Voice interrupted my pity party to say "let go."

Let go of the control, let go of that need to be perfect! Do you really think that a possible C (or even a D) on a test will affect who you are as a person?

This only made me cry even more! You see I was so concerned with the results that I failed to see that not matter what grade I got, I tried! I gave it my best and I studied hard. But I didn't need to worry about whether or not the grade is a B or even a C. As Derek Prince once said...

"God is more concerned with our character than with our achievements. Achievements have importance only in the realm of time, character is eternal. It determines what we will be through eternity."

It was this quote hanging on my mirror that spoke to me loud and clear.

"Let go of perfectionism!"

I've been trying to really live out the verse I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The
life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,
Galatians 2:20

Jesus never strived for an A in a literature course and He certainly didn't even have time to take a course in literature. No! He lived for God's Kingdom and helped others with compassion and love. So while I finish my education I know that a B or a C won't actually mean anything other than an achievement that matters in the realm of time. Also I've learned that perfectionism is another illusion. (Something I've been saying over and over again; I just needed more time to truly understand that it pertains to perfectionism as well.) Don't get ne wrong, education and good grades are amazing things! It's when we take those things to the extreme and believe the lie that we need to be perfect and be ahead of everybody else in order to be somebody that it turns into not so good and amazing things.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in
all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Provers 3:5-6

Trying hard and being perfect are two very different things. I'm still learning this and need that still small Voice to remind me but I know that with God all things are possible! Matthew 19:26

Perfectionism is the law and I don't want to live in the law; I want Christ to live in me and I praise God that each day I see Him working and living in me by grace! When I allow Jesus Christ to live in my imperfection and brokenness, then and only then will I find true joy, peace and love through His grace and not the law! Let's continue to allow God to use our imperfections for His good purpose. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

None of us are perfect, only Jesus Christ and the Lord our God is completely perfect and our imperfectionism is exactly what they are looking to use to glorify our loving Father! So in a way I'm actually glad I didn't buy into the illusion yesterday because if not for my own failure I would not have noticed Christ's amazing accomplishment already given to me (to all of us) by grace!

May God bless you all!
~Gretchen

Article on Unity

The posts have been lacking lately due to classes and events but I will be posting again soon. For now I wanted to share with you an article I enjoyed that I read on the blog/online ministry Visionary Womanhood.

Finding Unity in Submission

I hope you enjoy the article; please let me know what you think of it!

May God bless you all!
~Gretchen